


Handwriting.

by askarella



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, F/M, Ficlet, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, allusions to caleb's end goal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-05-15 09:59:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14788361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askarella/pseuds/askarella
Summary: Soulmates. The Mighty Nien's are an odd assortment that cause both joy and pain,





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

When Beauregard was fifteen she got her mark. Slowly the words in a shaky script appeared on the inside of her wrist, the letters shaped unlike those she knew. Her soulmate had shit handwriting and didn't have common as a first language. And yet the shaky script made her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. 

 

Of course, now that the first stage of the bond was complete, Beau was now privy to phantom pains from this mystery person and vice versa. She almost wished to apologise to her when she got into fights until… until it became very obvious that her soulmate was a fighter too.

 

Nearly every day Beau could feel distant teeth sink into her flesh, or solid blows to her body, or a whip across her back. Often she wondered what kind of world her soulmate lived in that one who had only just learned to write would be so soundly thrashed so very often. 

 

When she got into the Cobalt Soul the first thing she asked her teacher was what language her soul mark was in. 

 

“Goblin,” the man said in pure disbelief. “Your soulmate has goblin as a first language. It's a feminine name as well, if you were wondering,”

 

And then the man had set upon her a myriad of tasks ill suited to her inquisitive nature. 

 

For years until she left the order, Beau imagined her soulmate. She was undoubtedly tough, and probably wickedly smart and had a grin that promised all the best and all the worst at the same time. 

 

And then she left. The Cobalt Soul had nothing left for her, refused to let her learn to speak her soulmate’s language or to read it or write it. All she had to go on was what she managed to bribe out of a goblin in a holding cell. 

 

“That's a funny name there, heh,” the male had cackled. “Her name is Nott, Nott the Brave,”

 

“Thank you,” Beau had thanked him stiffly, “now here's the key to your cell.”

 

When Beau finally met Nott, there was no good time to bring it up. She had tried to get her alone, but the other woman would not leave Caleb’s side. 

 

Nott was amazing. Selfish and selfless, drunk yet coherent, and calculating of everything around her. And Beau was smitten. 

 

It took too long for Beau to get Nott alone. It took the group literally killing goblins for her to have a chance. 

 

“Nott, can we talk?” Beau asked after Caleb had fallen asleep from watch, a hand rubbing at the cloth covering her soul mark. “There's an elephant in the room and it needs to be addressed,”

 

“I'm not fucking Caleb,” Nott said in response, not looking up from her own covered wrist, “if that's what you're asking,”

 

“What, no!” Beau exclaimed, taking the seat next to the goblin, “I meant the soul marks we share, Nott,”

 

The green woman looked up sharply at that and Beau could see connections being made. “But I thought Yasha... Beauregard is more common a name than you'd think…”

 

“Yasha is super hot, don't get me wrong,” Beau rubbed the back of her head, “but my soulmate is a goblin named Nott the Brave,” As she spoke she undid the cloth wrist coverings, “See?”

 

Nott took the delicate wrist in her clawed hands and traced her own handwriting on the deep brown skin, “that- that is indeed my handwriting, and my name,” The goblin gave a weak smile, “But… but you needn’t be beholden to it… I would understand if you don't want a filthy monster like me as a soulmate,”

 

“Nott, you're not a monster,” Beau gently cupped the side of the smaller woman’s face, “You're a brave, loyal as Fuck, and amazing person. Sure you're frustrating and are maybe unhealthily codependent on Caleb, and an alcoholic, and a thief, but you're not a monster. I'm willing to give this a try if you are.”

 

Nott felt moisture on her cheeks and realised that she was crying, and she smiled weakly at her soulmate. “I'm willing… I just… I guess I spent my whole life preparing for you to want me dead or far away from you, is all…” 

 

“Nah, I like you Nott,” Beau smiled a rare genuine smile, “And we can go as slow or fast as you want, we've got an untold number of years in front of us,”

 

Nott nodded and moved forward a bit, “Can… can we start with a kiss? Before I go to sleep?” 

 

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

 

They met in the middle and shared a delicate, chaste kiss. And Beau thought that maybe, just maybe, this would all work out.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

For the first time in seven years, Beau left her left wrist bare to the world, Nott’s chicken scratch handwriting and a solid tan line seeing the light of day as the Mighty Nien traveled. She noticed a similar situation with Nott, and smiled at the sight. 

“Beauuuu~” Jester drawled in her ear, “What language is that on your wrist? Its very cool looking, I don't think I've ever seen it before!”

“It's goblin,” Nott told the tiefling “And basically our form of calligraphy, I'll have you know,”

“Oh really?” Jester’s interest was piqued. “Most calligraphy I've seen is like, super swirly, and the one on Beau’s wrist is super angular and that's very interesting,”

“Well I think it looks like shit and I pity the fool who wrote it,” Mollymauk said as he joined the trio. “Ugh, I can't even imagine being straddled with that fate!”

“Stuff it up your ass Molly,” Beau bit out. “You're two, you don't understand the gravity of soul magic,”

“I understand that being inside one of my two soulmates makes me feel amazing like being inside no one else does,” Molly quipped back at her, “Yasha is oh so responsive and sensitive, you know,”

“Stop it,” the aforementioned barbarian said, picking him up by the collar of his coat. “You're being rude,”

“Oh please, Beau is the rude one for constantly flirting with you in front of her soulmate,”

“I don't mind it,” Nott shrugged, “I never expected my soulmate to want to be with me, seeing as she's human and I'm a monster,”

“Nott, you're Beau’s soulmate?!” Jester shouted, “That's so cool! And means Caleb has two moms!”

“I think I'm more like a dad if we're honest,” Beau said with her signature shit eating grin. “Hey Caleb!” She shouted, “Eat your fuckin' vegetables!”

Caleb, who had been picking the beans out of his stew, flicked her off then resumed eating. 

“Gods I love that man,” Molly laughed as he looked up at Yasha, “Don’t you, dear?”

“He’s growing on me, I do admit…” The barbarian said as she lightly slapped the tiefling on his ass. “Though I do suppose I’ve been waiting… waiting to meet him for a long time…”

“Adorable, both of you,” Molly grinned, “So now that that’s in the open, what about you, Jester?” 

“Me? Oh, I don’t know what’s on my wrist!” Jester said cheerily, “In Nicodranis we don’t look at our wrists until we’ve been asked to marry, that way we don’t get caught up in guessing games!” Her tail flicked from side to side. “Plus it’s more fun that way, don’t you think?”

“That’s the way of Sailors in the Menagerie Coast as well,” Fjord piped up. “Also helps to ease the conscience when you’re at sea for months at a time, though...” He rubbed his covered wrist, “Sometimes you find out who they are because the sea gets lonely….” 

“Well, I think that it is time for us to be going, ja?” Caleb said, having finished his meal. “Shady Creek Run is awaiting us,”

 

* * *

 

Yasha feels it the exact moment Mollymauk dies. She feels the final blow as if it were to her own chest, feels the hatred and rage and sadness he feels in his final moments, his last thoughts regret at not getting a chance to say goodbye to her or to Caleb. Tears of grief and pain streak down her face- partly her own and partly the human’s. The trio had consummated their bond in that most physical, final way the night she had been kidnapped, and their pain is as her own.

It is almost enough for her to break her bonds- almost. She wants to roar and rage and break free and tear off that fucker’s fucking head with her bare hands but she cannot. 

Caleb’s sorrow and rage and worry is her constant companion as the cart wheels away from Molly’s final resting place, and her heart has never felt this heavy before.

 

* * *

 

 

“Yasha is in pain” Is all Caleb can say when the others give him a moment alone with the grave. “I- We will find her, Mollymauk Tealeaf, I swear to you… And when I am more powerful, I will set this right, and you- you will not have died at all, and I will no longer feel this pain,” 

Caleb pauses when he feels Nott hugging him from behind, and he picks her up to bury his face in her shoulder and hide his tears. She pats his hair and lets him ruin her bandages, then wanders into the forest after setting her down. Keg won’t meet his eyes and he cannot blame her. 

When the horse turns into a firblog he is too numb to be surprised, but her motherly companionship ends up helping immeasurably. 

 

* * *

 

 

As Fjord is poked and prodded and shocked and cut he can feel his heart calling out for Sabien. His soul aches for its mate, for the man who betrayed him and the crew, the man who had made him feel loved more than anyone else in the whole world. The torturer take off Fjord’s wrist covering and grins at the name written there. 

“Sabien, eh? Wonder if you’ve met him yet- I’m sure we could reunite you,” He sneers, and Fjord feels dread settle in the pit of his stomach, “Maybe after you’re broken we can use your bond to find him…”

“If you think he gives a rat’s ass about me, you’re sorely mistaken,” Fjord replies, hearing Jester’s struggles in the cell behind him, “He left me for dead months ago- I was nothing but a warm body to him,” As he says it he can feel his voice falter as angry concern filters through, and he can just imagine what would happen if Sabin were coming to rescue him.

_ “You stupid idiot…” Sabien would growl as he undid Fjord’s binds, “Don’t you remember that I’m the only one who is allowed to hurt you?” He’d scold as he bandaged Fjord as he had so many times before, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “You’re  _ mine _ to cut, _ mine _ to hurt,  _ mine _ to heal,  _ mine _ to  _ love _ …” And he’d kiss Fjord so soundly that the half-orc would be left dizzy and breathless and hard.  _

And somehow the fantasy of his soulmate giving a shit got Fjord through the rest of the session of torture.

 

* * *

 

 

As Jester sat helplessly watching Fjord be tortured and the same fate threatened to his soulmate, she could feel her own soulmate’s comforting presence through the bond. They were pleased at something, their end of the bond projecting the feeling in a way that was soothing like her mother’s lullabies.  

Her soulmate often did that, projected contentedness or concern or love to her at random intervals and she felt oh so fond of them. 

When Fjord finally passed out, the torturer dragged her out of the cell and strapped her down. She did her best to send apologetic feelings through the bond before the knife pierced her skin, but she had little confidence that it would work. The blade cut into her time and time again until the man grew bored- at which point he stripped off her wrist covering.

“What the fuck kind of name is Caduceus Clay?!”

 

* * *

 

 

The first night that Caduceus spent with his soulmate, she was bloody and sad and snuck off to do something on her own. He watched as the goblin gave her soulmate the okay to have sex with the dwarf and he observed the way the human male cradled the aasimar and cleaned her exposed flesh and he saw the half-orc cry with his wrist against his forehead when he thought no one was watching. 

He decided to make breakfast.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all want I'll add more, but for now this will have to do.   
> follow me on twitter if ya like: https://twitter.com/ArellasMercy


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

After breakfast was ready, Caduceus remembered that he hadn’t introduced himself yet, but when he looked at Jester and tried to put the words together, he could feel his cheeks color under their downy gray fur and said nothing, just slid her a plate. Beau joined them as Nott finished making a plate for her and Caleb and herself.

“Did you have fun, Beau?” The goblin asked as the woman took her plate and set it down. “Oh, and our new friend made us all breakfast,”

“Yo, this is a nice spread, Duece!” The woman said with a laugh as she gave her soulmate a kiss on the cheek. “And yeah, I had a good time- but it would have been more fun if you had joined us Nott,”

“Maybe next time,” Nott waved her off, then took the human’s offered hand and held it, the two looking awkward yet content. “Oh, wait, Fjord and Jester still haven’t been introduced to Mr. Clay!”

Jester stiffened and covered her still-exposed wrist, her fork clattering onto the table and tail ram-rod straight. 

“Ja, we haven’t, have we…” Caleb looked up from his meal. “Jester, Fjord, this fine firbolg here is Mr. Caduceus Clay, and he makes tea and also apparently very good food, ja?”

“I am very pleased to meet you,” Caduceus said, bowing his head to Jester. “Miss Jester Lavore, it is truly a wonder to finally meet you after all these years,”

Jester shook his hand timidly, his name in its flower-embellished script bare on her now-scarred wrist. “Yeah well, you know what they say- your soulmate will always find you,” Her laugh was borderline manic and Caduceus cocked his head at her.

“You didn’t want to meet me,” His voice was slightly sad, mostly disappointment. “I apologise, Miss Jester,”

“It’s not your fault!” She shouted as she let go of his hand, “I just- I just wanted my soulmate to be the Traveller…”

“Jester…” Fjord put his hand on her shoulder, “No one is soulmates with a god…”

“Plus, how icky would that be, Jester?” Beau added, “He’s been visiting you since you were basically a baby, I’d be real skeeved if Nott had done that to me,”

“That wouldn’t be possible Beau, Nott is a goblin and she was a baby when you were a teen,” Jester pointed out, “That was a really bad comparison, you know,”

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually the group gets their things together, returns to Ophelia, and gets back on the road. Caleb spends the ride with Yasha’s head in his lap as she continues her slumber, listening to conversation. 

“Why didn’t you want to join us?” Beau asks Nott in a quiet tone as the goblin undoes her bandages as she does every time she finds them too dirty. “Is it the whole soulmates thing? Or is it that you don’t find me attractive… or that you don’t share?”

Nott lays her bandages in a bowl with soap shavings and pours water over them delicately. “I... the way I am now…” She sighs as she swirls the dirty cloth in the water, suds slowly forming. “You deserve better than a goblin in bed…” Caleb watches as Nott’s eyes pointedly stay on her task. “Better than a goblin as a soulmate…”

“Nott…” Beau gently grabs Nott’s face to make their eyes meet. “I’ve known you were a goblin for years, I did research on how to court you, to make you see that I want to give us our best shot…” She presses their foreheads together and Caleb can hear no more, but he does see both their cheeks color. 

Nott knocks over her bowl in her surge forward to kiss her soulmate, the two suddenly a tangle of clothed limbs. Caleb quietly leans over and gathers the sopping wet cloth and finishes his life partner’s task, then lays the bandages out to dry.

* * *

 

 

When Yasha comes to consciousness, it is with Caleb’s coat covering her like a too-small blanket. There is no one in the cart with her. She can hear Jester crying. Fjord is cursing. Yasha gets up, and she leaves the cart.

She sees his coat on a pole. She knows what it means. She feels her wings materialise as she lets out a cry of pure anguish, clutching the wrist where Molly’s name had written itself two years prior, the scar left in its wake a new sight that breaks her heart almost as much as the sight of the coat on the branch in the snow. 

Caleb has a hand on her shoulder and she deftly pulls him into a hug, burying her face in his chest. She cries into him and it takes all her strength to stay upright as she sobs. He hums softly as his tears hit the top of her head and they sink to the ground together, United in their grief. 

When they are done, she takes the coat off the stick and dons it. 

“You're leaving,” Caleb says, sadness in his voice, “Do you… Want me with you?”

She shakes her head, kisses him one last time, and begins to walk.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for Sabien being cissexist in the last part.

 

 

“Caduceus Clay,  _ we _ are your destiny!” Caleb said with a laugh as he pulled the firbolg into a dance, Nott holding back a scolding at the man in the background as Jester watched.

Jester had not thought it through when she suggested going to the Menagerie Coast. It was a bad idea for two very large reasons.

1: Jester was still very much wanted by the law for embarrassing that jerk who had been seeing her mother

2: Jester had had Caduceus’s name on her wrist for her whole life, her mother more than likely knew that he was her soulmate.

She startled when Fjord sat down next to her. “Oh- hey Fjord, what’s up?” The tiefling asked, putting on her best happy face, “Caduceus seems very happy to be here,”

“Yes, but are  _ you _ happy that he’s here?” He asked, handing her a mug of milk. “Soulmates aren’t always a happy thing, trust me, I know-”

“From experience, yeah, I listened when he was torturing you,” She took a sip of her drink. “Sabien is a jerk, wherever he is- if you were my soulmate I would never have hurt you by sinking your ship,”k

“Well, I love him, I can’t help it…” He blushed a bit awkwardly, “He was my… first in everything, and my best friend and I miss the fucking bastard… quite desperately, if I’m honest,” He took a sip of ale, “Give the Duece a chance, Jester- he seems to be a good sort,”

“Beau and I are taking a room together, divy up the rest as you see fit,” Nott said, popping up between the pair, “We’ll see you in the morning~”

“Don’t- don’t break the bed!” Fjord called after her, “Nott, I mean it!”

The goblin flipped him off then ran up the stairs to her room.

 

\----

 

Beau was sitting on the bed when Nott entered, unwrapping her bandages, stripped down to her small clothes. Her hair was down and her clothes were neatly folded on a chair. 

“Fjord thinks we’re going to be fucking,” Nott said as she closed the door behind herself. “He told me to not break the bed,” She said with a snort, hanging up her cloak and beginning to strip down to her small clothes. “Like- like we’re some kind of animalistic pair!”

“Fjord knows me too well- if you were just some fling, hell yeah we’d be breaking the bed!” Beau said with a laugh, “But you’re my soulmate, I wanna make sure you’re okay with the speed we go at,”

Once she was disrobed, all her bandages set aside, Nott joined Beau on the bed. “Thank you for that,” She smiled weakly. “I would… would prefer to not jump into anything sexual after Yeza…”

“That’s understandable, Nott…” Beau kissed her soulmate on the cheek. “So, why are we in our small clothes again?”

“To know one’s soulmate in my culture is to know their suffering, so we’re going to go through our scars, and how they came about,” Nott pointed to a row of newer scars that went down as a line down her abdomen, “These are from that Manticore, when she tried to kill me,”

Beau traced the scars with a calloused finger, memory of carrying Nott and the smaller woman being bitten and almost bleeding out flashing through her head. “Yeah, I remember that… you scared the shit outa me that night!” Beau scolded. “These-” She said, touching lines on her ankles, “are from when I was doing weight training and got overzealous,”

The night passed like that, the pair pointing out scars on themselves and telling stories until both had a better understanding of what life had wrought for the other. 

 

\----

 

For the first time since the wreck, Fjord dreamt of Sabien- but it was not a mere dream; having completed the soul bond, Fjord knew that that was really Sabien standing before him, eyes narrowed.

“What was all that pain?” Sabien growled, taking Fjord by the chin, “ _ Who _ did you let hurt you like that?!”

“I didn’t  _ let _ anyone do anything! I was kidnapped!” Fjord replied, exasperation in his tone. “The only person I  _ let _ hurt me is you- you make pain feel good for me like no one else can….”

“Good boy…” Sabien said, taking his soulmate for a viscous, searing kiss. “Gods but I missed you…” He growled, using his body to cover Fjord entirely, “I’m coming back for you, oh love of mine- don’t you doubt it…”

“Then why did you leave me? If you love me, why did you leave?” Fjord asked breathlessly, “Sabien…”

“No questions now, lover mine…” Sabien whispered, stroking Fjord’s face, “Let’s just… enjoy this visit to its fullest…”

 

\----

 

Caduceus watched in disinterest as Fjord’s sleeping form began to make very sexual sounds and movements, growing bored before long and leaving the room to find where Caleb and Jester were sleeping.

“Hello?” He said, knocking on the door, “May I come in?”

A sleepy-eyed Caleb opened the door, “Ja, ja…,” He said, holding back a yawn. “Was Fjordie sleep-talking?”

“Ah- something like that…” Caduceus smiled weakly. “Hello again, mIss Lavore,” He greeted to Jester, who was pretending rather poorly to snore. “I would ask Miss Nott if I could room with her, but she is with her soulmate and I would hate to interrupt…” 

“Ja… you are very big though, I do not know if we can share a bed comfortably, Mister Clay… and I would hate for you to have to sleep on the floor…” Caleb mused. The wizard pulled out a copper thread and muttered into it. A moment later and he was frowning. “Ja, and Nott is busy…”

Jester huffed then got out of her bed. “I’ll just sleep with Fjord,” She declared, “By that I mean that I’ll bunk with him,”

“I can sleep on the floor, Miss Lavore…” Caduceus protested, “Fjord is… indisposed, and I think he would be cross if you went into his room…” he sighed, scratching the back of his head “And I would feel awful for making you leave your bed,”

“Or- how about I join Fjord?” Caleb interjected, “Plus, I think you two… need to have a talk, ja?”

Jester piped up to shout a rebuttal and the tiefling and human ended up having a small yelling match while the firbolg just stood there, feeling incredibly awkward and missing the quiet that was only given by the dead. Eventually, Caleb stormed out of the room, leaving Caduceus alone with his soulmate, who was blue in both the literal and figurative sense.

“So… how old are you?” Jester asked, “I don’t even know how long you guys live…”

“Barely a hundred,” Caduceus chuckled despite himself as he sat on the bed that had been Caleb’s. “So for my kind, I’m basically your age,” Caduceus looked down at the downy fur of his shorts-clad legs as one of the beatles from  his staff traveled up his leg, letting the insect climb onto his hand before he spoke again, “Malora… she told me in a dream that you were lovely, and she did not lie to me… but she did not tell me you would dislike me the way you do,”

“I- I don’t dislike you…” She grumbled, scrunching her freckled nose. “I just! I don’t want someone who only likes me because I’m their soulmate!” And it was out and she covered her mouth.

“Well, so far I find you quite charming Miss Lavore, both in looks and personality.” He climbed into the bed and blew out the candle on the nearby dresser. “I think uh… I think we should at the very least try to be friends, at least for now,”

“Thats fair I guess…” She snuggled into her covers, “Goodnight Caduceus…”

“Goodnight Miss Lavore,”

“You can call me Jester, you know…”

“Alright… goodnight… Jester…”

 

\--------

 

When Caleb got to Fjord’s room, the half-orc was in an… interesting position and making almost enough noise to awaken the entire tavern. Caleb, ever the genius, strode over to him and shook the other man until he awoke.

His eyes came open, and they were not the yellow eyes that Caleb was used to- they were the color of the sea and narrowed. “Who are you to  _ my _ Fjord?” The voice was not Fjord’s, but a rough voice like the sea in a storm, and Fjord slammed Caleb against a wall. “Answer me!”

“I- I am a friend, he and I share the pain of soulmates who leave us,” Caleb said, arms up in surrender. “My surviving soulmate, she leaves our group from time to time… and Fjord’s… well if I had to wager a guess, I’d say that his soulmate is you, ja?” At Fjord’s snarl Caleb piped back up, “Oi, he is not my type! The only person with a dick I have ever topped, he is six feet under, and he was my soulmate!”

“Person with a dick… that is a strange way to say man,”

“Mollymauk was not a man,” Caleb scoffed, “He was a rainbow person whose gender was as complex as his coat…. And having a dick does not make you a man, ja? My first love, she had a dick, and she was as much a woman as I am a man, so you can take your close-mindedness and be glad that Fjord loves you, or else I might… how do you say it? Snap?” 

“Try me,” he snarled. “You wouldn't dare hurt me!”

“Ja, you're right.” Caleb yawned. “Well, I am off to sleep. Rest as well you can with knowing how deeply you hurt Fjord, Sabien.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merr chrimis and Happ holi


End file.
